Where the Red Fern Grows
By Wilson Rawls
When I left my office that
beautiful spring day, I had no idea what was in store for me. It seemed as if
nothing could go wrong because of how nice the weather was and how good I felt.
The sun was gleaming, the snow on the mountains shined like the stars at night,
and the warm seventy two degrees weather made me feel invincible. This was
probably one of the best days I could ever wake up to and hopefully go to sleep
to.
As I walked into the door of my
fantastic cabin house, I was met at the door my pet dog buddy. Buddy is a
golden retriever that keeps me company at home; he is also the only company I
have at my home. See my wife died when we had only been married for a year, she
was in a car accident on the way to town to buy some groceries. After her
passing, I became lonely so I went to the pet store and that when I met buddy.
He is only one year old, but thinks he is a big, strong, guard dog. Such as the time we went for a walk in the
mountains and saw a bear, buddy tried to chase the bear before I grabbed him
and very sneakily walked back to my home. Thought buddy can be a handful
sometimes he is the most important thing in my life and would do anything for
him and I know he would do the same for me.
Towards the evening, I poured buddy
some dog food for dinner, made me a bologna, cheese, and mayonnaise sandwich,
grabbed me a beer, sat on my couch, and relaxed with buddy. A couple hours
later, buddy and I got tired so we went upstairs to my room, lie down on my bed
and thankfully nothing went wrong and fell asleep. I awoke and my face was
drenching wet and as I opened my eyes it was buddy licking and slobbering all
over my face, eager for me to take him outside to do his business. So, I got
up, stretched, and walked with buddy down the stairs and let him outside. I
fried up some eggs and bacon for breakfast and a little extra for buddy too,
because I knew without a doubt if I just made some for me buddy would be crying
and begging for some. After I got done cooking I made some coffee and went
outside to enjoy the new morning. After breakfast I got put some jeans on, a
flannel shirt, my hiking boots and decided to take buddy for a walk through the
mountains since it was such a nice day. A couple hours later we heard a noise
that mad buddy bark, but I didn’t think much of it because were in the forest
so it could be anything. Then I heard a
loud BOOM! Buddy fell over dead, so I started running as fast as I could back
home, while tears were streaming down my face like a water hose was coming out
of my eye sockets. I finally made it home, went inside locked all my windows
and doors, and went upstairs and grabbed my 30-06 rifle. In shock I tried to
hold myself together, not really understanding what happened, all I knew was
somebody shot and killed the most important thing in my life, buddy.
That night I could not sleep, all
that was going through my head was the sound of the gun shot and buddy falling
over dead. When the next morning came, I took a shower, got dressed, and sat on
the couch plotting my plan of revenge. So angry I finally had my whole plan plotted
out to get my revenge on the person who killed my loving dog.
Very patiently, I got my gun, a
rope and my lucky knife that was handed down to me from many generations. I
also went to the side of my cabin and grabbed some charcoal. Time for revenge I
thought to myself as I was retracing my steps to where I was yesterday when
buddy was killed. However, this time I’m going to go towards the direction of
where the gun was shot. A few hours later, I was about fifty yards from where
buddy was shot, but was in the direction of where the gunman was shooting. I
know that the gunman could not have been any farther than fifty yards because I
could tell that the shells that pierced through buddy’s body were shotgun
shells. Anyways I found a spot on the ground to start my revenge and started
setting everything up. I used the rope to tie around to trees close to the
ground and covered the rope up with leaves and sticks, then I put the charcoal
about five yards in front of the rope. I used the charcoal for a fire. Also I
set my knife in the ground from the bottom so the blade would be sticking
directly in-between the rope and the fire. After I had finished I sat against a
different tree about fifteen yards away from my setup. All I could think about
is buddy.
After a couple hours I heard
something or someone walking straight
towards my setup. I sat very still, so nervous and tensed up that my heartbeat
sounded like drums. Watching very carefully, I finally saw the man and shocked
to see who it was. It was my father! He got closer and closer to the trap, but
before I could get to him, he tripped over the unseen rope and fell directly
onto the knife. I cried and yelled at the top of my lungs and ran to my dad.
When I reached him I turned him over onto his back and pulled the bloody knife
out of his chest. He was still alive, but barely breathing. I yelled to my dad
that I was sorry and then he said something that would haunt me forever; he
whispered” I just wanted to see you one more time son”. I cried and cried begging
him not to go and then he stopped breathing. My dad died and I killed him.
Marcum
ReplyDeleteI will start by saying I am impressed to an extent. This was I good story. I assume you met your length requirement. The thing that is bothersome to me would be the depth of the story, it is very shallow. I believe that having a story about a dog is very relatable in the since that everyone has had one or has had an animal that they can relate to in the same manner. The thing that really stuck out to me would be the shooting of the dog. It shocked me, I never saw it coming but even though it was just words on a paper I never felt "there". The character in the story is a mystery I mean it sounds like I am reading about you but I am not sure that it would be readable for anyone. The characters are also very shallow. Compared to the original story it is good. It contained the same character plan but you did not plagiarize the story in your own words. I do see an introduction, a rising action, and climax. Resolution, did your dad kill the dog or what? Not a very good resolution.
I will have to say you were really descriptive and took time to develop a relationship between Buddy the dog and the main character. It was not clear who killed Buddy and I could only assume the dad of the main character either came at the wrong time or he was the murderer. It was an unexpected ending though but it would have been a bit more clearer who killed the dog or if the dad did kill the dog, why did he do it? Was it jealousy or anger? But I did enjoy this story and its definitely different from the original. Your story and the original has dogs in them but the way the dogs died in each are different. Overall, I did not see that many grammar and punctuation errors but this was a great story!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe story is similar to Where the Red Fern Grows because it does focus around the dog dying but you did make it your own thing by it only being one dog and you being really attached to it. You are very descriptive in your writing and I think that is one of your strongest points. The plot does contain all the important parts except a resolution, but i guess you can take care of that in your next book. The ending doesn't really satisfy me but it makes me want to read the next one to find out what happens. It really stuck out, the depth you went in describing the main character and the dog and their relationship.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would change the end of the 4th paragraph from loving dog to *beloved dog.